Euro Tip of the Week - Headwear

Hello Cyclists,

As you hopefully remember, in the last edition of the Euro Tip of the Week, we covered the Cat 5 Tattoo. This week we begin the first of a series of wardrobe tips, starting with proper head-wear.

Let us begin with the helmet. Most importantly, your helmet MUST match your kit. (Tim, are you paying attention?!?). Mismatched clothing is so not PRO. It is highly advisable for your helmet to prominently feature the color white, although not at the expense of matching your kit. In addition, an entirely white helmet is entirely acceptable if your kit features white, (Benny unwittingly got this one right!). While road cycling, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES may your helmet have a visor. (Josh, this is for your own good).

A cycling cap, primarily white in color, and preferably team issued, is highly encouraged in all but the warmest weather and especially in the spring. If a cycling cap is worn, it must be under the helmet and the bill remain forward and down at all times. In cold weather, a cycling toque shall be worn beneath the helmet. If you don't know what a toque is, ask Ben Chaddock, our resident Canadian.

On an aside, I need to take a moment to explain why the color white is PRO. When you are PRO, you ride your bike a lot. Riding your bike a lot makes your bike and kit dirty. Dirty bikes and kits are so not PRO. Having clean white kits and a clean bike demonstrate to the world that you clean your bike and take pride in your appearance while on your bike. Thus, clean white kits and bikes are PRO.

As Philippe Gilbert demonstrates while winning the Omloop Het Volk in superb style with a 49 km solo breakaway, wearing a white kit and riding a white bike in a Belgian semi-classic in the beginning of March is so PRO:

Moving on, ridiculously stylish eyewear is to be worn at all time without exception. Glasses are to be worn over helmet straps at all times. It's more comfortable, I promise, try it. In addition to being ridiculously stylish, glasses also help you see while riding. But most importantly, they prevent your adversaries from seeing in. Your eyes can expose how much you are really suffering up that windswept 22km, 7.6% climb. (Once again, bonus points for those who know what climb I'm talking about. Todd Sigley won team socks last week for being the first response and for actually having climbed Alp D'Huez.) Concealing your suffering is the mark of a true champion. When Miguel Indurain cracked on Les Arces in 1996 while attempting to win the Tour for a sixth time, he cracked so beautifully that none of his competitors noticed, he was simply no longer there, the perfect cyclist's demise. Moral of the story, stylish eyewear is PRO.

Tom Boonen got it right, and won Paris-Roubaix ahead of Fabian Cancellara, and Allesandro Ballan:

If you don't know who any of those people are, finding out more about them and their palmares is your homework for the week.

Finally, we move on to hair. Women, I am not going to give you advice on your hairstyles, you all have that one on lock-down. Men, keep your hair neatly short. Short hair need not limit your style, as short yet sufficiently Euro haircuts abound. These include the faux-hawk, the euro-mullet ala Viatcheslav Ekimov, or even the faux-hawk mullet combination, a favorite of the Belgian classics riders. All I asked is, regardless of how glorious you think this next photo is, please never allow your Euro-mullet to approach the length of Laurent Brouchard's:

In RARE cases, it has been deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in maximum euro-styling. Mario Cipollini and Filippo Pozzato are two of the rare individuals capable of pulling off this look. If you aren't Italian you probably don't have much of a chance. It is IMPERATIVE that stylish Euro eyewear be worn in these special cases.

So, in review,

-White is PRO -Helmets must match your kit -Cycling caps are PRO -Ridiculously stylish eyewear must be worn at all times

I hope you all have learned something this evening. Following these guidelines will quickly get you on your way to becoming significantly more Euro while cycling. Best of luck and look out for next weeks tip, footwear. Because there is no point in winning, if you can't do it with style.

Love, Andy The Enforcer of Euro